Leadership: How to say “no” while also inspiring people

Leadership is all about focusing energy on achieving an important goal. In achieving focus, leadership is implicitly saying “no” to all the other less-important things that might be attempted at this time. In this sense, “saying no” to trivia and distractions is the essence of leadership.

I was reminded of this by a recent Twitter posting from Mark Fritz (@markfritz) to this effect:

THE POWER IN SAYING NO: The people who are afraid to say NO will never create enough focus (POWER) on the important.

At the same time, when a leader says “no” to a follower who has passionately put forward an alternative way of doing things, the sound of “no” can deliver a spirit-crushing blow. It can carry dead the weight of hierarchical authority, the stench of soul-destroying command-and-control. It can imply an adult-child relationship, (“I’m the boss and I know better than you,”) rather than an adult-adult relationship in which leaders and followers have a reciprocal responsibility to listen to each other’s ideas and converse, rather than to command. Even when reasons are given in support of “no”, the sound of “no” can be interpreted as disrespect, or even contempt. Hardly the kind of feelings that will lead to an energized and inspired workforce.

In traditional management thinking, there tends to be a tug of war between two types of people: “leaders” who try to inspire their followers by saying “yes”, and “managers” who keep things running on track and on time by saying “no”. But when the managers say “no”, they crush the enthusiasm that the leaders may have inspired. The net result of the tug of war is a global workforce where only one in five workers is fully engaged in his or her work.

So what’s a leader to do? How does a leader practicing radical management say “no” while maintaining focus, enthusiasm and inspiration?

The trick is to use one of three, and only three, answers, when a follower proposes doing things differently:

1.      “Yes!”: Ideally, of course, if the follower’s idea is a good one, the leader should embrace the idea with enthusiasm. That may not be the case. So the leader has to go to the second or third response.

2.      “Not yet!”: If the idea has promise, but the timing isn’t right, or if more work needs to be done on it before it can be implemented, a “not yet” answer can recognize the merit in the idea, while not allowing it to distract from higher priority action items.

3.      “I have a better idea!”: This answer involves the leader taking the trouble to understand the substantive merit behind the follower’s proposal and then come up with a better way of achieving the same result. There can then ensure an adult-adult conversation about the merits of the proposal.

What if the follower’s idea has no merit at all? What if the idea puts forward something that is illegal and unethical? Does the leader still not say, “no!”? In this instance, the leader’s “better idea” will be to suggest trying to achieve the result while doing only things that legal and ethical; alternatively, if the follower is adamant in pursuing the idea, the leader’s “better idea” may be to suggest that the follower pursue the ideas in a different organization. With such a response, the leader is of course implicitly saying “no”, but the tonality of the discussion is very different: it is interactive and respectful, rather than dismissive and hierarchical.

The impatient traditional manager may well find such advice preposterous and say, “Why waste time? Why beat around the bush? Why not just say no!” The answer is that abruptly saying “no” appears to save time in the short run, but when you look at the time and effort involved in inspiring an engaged workforce, every instance where the follower’s spirit is crushed by a quick “no” will require many subsequent efforts to rebuild morale. Hence the short run saving of time in an abrupt conversation will be a long run loss of time in repairing the damage to morale.

“No” can thus be a very expensive word to use. If a leader can maintain focus without having to say “no”, the gains to the work will be major.

To learn more about The Leader's Guide to Radical Management, go to: 

http://www.stevedenning.com/Books/radical-management.aspx

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Jen Turi]

Great post Steve. I recently wrote some similiar suggestions and discussed the idea of inspiration versus motivation. You can see it here if you are interested. http://www.careercurve.com/blog/?p=172

I really think a trait that a good manager must possess is humility. If you are humble you are more open to others' ideas and alternative solutions. It seems as though those that manage by saying no should consider why. The successful business model no longer operates as a command and control hierarchy but more of a connect and collaborate scenario. This is not possible without humility and listening skills. Thanks for the post!

[Steve Denning]

Jen--Thanks for your reply and the great link. I agree that command-and-control "no longer operates", but somehow it still lives on. Finding ways to give it a decent burial is critical!

[davidburkus]

Good post. I'm wondering if "I have a better idea" can be received as "No." Perhaps a better response is "what if we..." proposing the better idea as one that builds on the first.

[Steve Denning]

David, Great point! I agree: that's a better way to phrase it. "What if.." is always good, open-minded, conversational. "I have a better idea" could come across as "I'm the boss. Hear ye!" It would depend on the tone. By contrast, it's hard to to go wrong with "What if?" Steve

[Lesley Shneier]

Steve, you make some excellent points. Hearing "no" to ideas definitely shuts down the follower/employee, and also limits suggestions of any subsequent "good ideas" that he/she may have, thereby stifling any creative and innovative ideas. This happens all the time in organizations big and small.

However, I'm going to put you on the spot with your "three and only 3 answers" above: when I proposed a knowledge fair to you, you privately thought this wouldn't work, but didn't say anything. More importantly, to me, you publicly supported my efforts. If you had voiced your concerns - that "we're not ready yet", for instance - the whole thing would have died. Yet, you openly supported me, and watched the fair grow into something that has been replicated by us and others ever since.

So where does this sort of response fit in? Perhaps a wise leader adopts a "wait and see" stance, at least in the short run, to see if the organization is indeed ready for something innovative, while being ready to rescue the employee in case it doesn't work out?

[Steve Denning]

Lesley--No problem. I gave it a "1", i.e. yes, do it! I saw the risks, but I also saw your passion. I didn't bother you with my misgivings, which might have caused you to stop and have second thoughts.

If you recall, in those early days, we are going through hell, and desperate to do anything that would show progress. And when you're going through hell, you keep going! The last thing you do is to stop and agonize about whether you are doing the right thing.

We tried a number of things. Some of them didn't work. Some did, like the knowledge fair.

The key is to keep experimenting and learn from experience. Kill the dogs, but celebrate the successes!

Steve

[Jeff Hoye]

Love the idea of not saying no. If you're a leader that's about learning (for the sake of the ind. and company), then sit with that person and explore the idea. Who knows? One of you may come away enlightened. Either way the conversation / decision goes, they were seen or heard. Odds are you'll hear more from them again. And who knows, you as leader may have just started to see something from a different pt of view.
(Steve, I'm a big fan of your books and what you're about. I always make time to hear what you have to say on leadership).

[Health News]

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